The Man with the Bag: Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Santa Again, 30 Years After Jingle All the Way

Photo: Famartin, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Arnold Schwarzenegger has not made a film in about five years, and the one he picked to come back with is a Christmas heist comedy where he plays Santa Claus. The Man with the Bag lands on Prime Video worldwide on December 2, and the teaser that dropped at the end of September is exactly as silly as that sentence suggests. There is a bit with Santa doing figure skating tricks on a rink that I have now watched four times.

The plot is a caper. A rogue elf, played by Awkwafina, steals Santa's magic bag, and the only person with the skills to get it back is Vance, a thief who happens to be on the Naughty List. Alan Ritchson plays Vance, so you get the Reacher build next to the Terminator build and the film knows exactly what it is doing with that image. Adam Shankman directs, and Ken Jeong, Jane Krakowski, Kyle Mooney and Liza Koshy fill out the elves and the helpers.

Photo: Governo do Estado de Sao Paulo, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

The obvious reference point is Jingle All the Way, which is now thirty years old, and which has somehow become a Christmas staple despite being not very good. This one looks better made, and Shankman knows how to shoot a big comic set piece. Whether it has any heart underneath the stunts is the question the teaser does not answer.

Photo: Red Carpet Report on Mingle Media TV, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

It arrives two days before Violent Night 2 hits cinemas, so December is going to have two action Santas competing for the same joke. I know which one I am watching first, mostly because it is on the TV I already pay for. Are you in for Arnold as Santa, or does that sound like a film you will have on in the background while wrapping presents?